Barstool Philly Official Top Ten Chappelle Show Skits Ever Made
Hey Mo,
Not sure if you saw this or not, but Grantland had a NCAA style tournament of Chappelle Show sketches. I’ll save you the time, and let you know that the Wayne Brady sketch makes it to the championship, knocking off both the Prince and Rick James sketches. I cant seem to wrap my head around this. Also, the Player Haters Ball somehow doesn’t make it to the Elite 8, but that is besides the point. Could it be that black people (the author of the article appears to be black) REALLY do love Wayne Brady that much?
Thanks for your help on this,
Zach (White Guy)
Hey Zach, thanks for the email. No need to tell me you’re a white guy — your name is Zach. Secret is out, bruh. But yes, I did see this and actually tweeted about it a bit yesterday. Didn’t see the winners until today, and now that I’ve had a chance to really think it over I almost feel like it’s my responsibility to clean up Grantland’s mess. The Tupac skit didn’t make it out of the first round. What!?
So here are my official rankings. The correct rankings. Keep in mind that I was a huge Chappelle fan before the show ever existed, and that my friends and I would regularly quote Killin Them Softly way before the days of the Rick James sketch or Lil Jon screaming “WHAT!?” My fanhood is legit. And I’m pretty sure I watched every episode the night they premiered, so my opinion in this matter should be taken as gospel.
THE RANKINGS! (And yes, there are a bunch that aren’t here that you may feel are deserving. I probably love those skits, too.)
10. Kneehigh Park
Life lesson: Believing that if you never give up and you work hard that all your dreams will come true is the gayest shit I’ve ever heard.
Best quote: “That’s why…I say…fuck it.”
9. Prince
Life lesson: Don’t judge a book by its cover. Also, Prince can ball.
Best quote: “Game…blouses.”
8. Tron’s Law & Order
Life lesson: The criminal justice system is heavily skewed in favor of those with money and influence.
Best quote: “Then his wife threw her titties in my hand. It was weird, your honor.” “You GRABBED her titties…I SAW you!”
7. Black Bush
Life lesson: George W. Bush was a Thug Life President.
Best quote: “Oil? Who said anything about oil? Bitch you cookin’?”
6. Tupac
Life lesson: Tupac is still alive; Dave Chappelle loves Asian chicks.
Best quote: “It might be doo doo!”
5. Wayne Brady
Life lesson: People, especially celebrities, aren’t always as they seem.
Best quote: “Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?”
4. Player Haters Ball
Life lesson: There are haters everywhere and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Best quote: “Man YOU CORNY!”
R.I.P. Patrice.
3. Clayton Bigsby
Life lesson: Judging character based solely on race makes one appear foolish.
Best quote: “I am in no way, shape, or form involved in any niggerdom!”
2. Mad Real World
Life lesson: Don’t look at her like that.
Best quote: “Katie has some big-ass tit-tays…”
1. Rick James
Life lesson: Rick James had more fun than any of us ever will.
Best quote: “I hit ya tonight…?”
Thanks to Dave for all the laughs. A legend of our generation.
Black Bush is way too low on this list. I’d say top 2 or 3.
#1 Black Bush
#2 MTV Cribs parody
No “Niggar Family” = joke list
mad real world “you stabbed my parents” funniest moment in television history
“Mars Bitches”
MAKING THE BAND! WHY? BC I SPIT HOT FIRE!
great blog. I like the Pop Copy skit on customer service.
no racial draft?
Grantland didn’t even have World Series of Dice making it out of the first round. serious fuck up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9lg6HqJeY0
Racial Draft and N Family are best, hands down.
I am going to now spend the rest of my day at work downloading and watching reruns of the Chappelle Show.. Hey Kroll Show, take some fucking notes on how to run a skit show.
easily at least 200 chappelle quotes running through my head right now. wouldn’t even know where to start so i’m not even going to try.
oh fuck it, slow day at work. what the hell……..
The World’s Greatest Wars gang skit should be in the top 3.
i said “listen here nigger. that there’s my girl. anyone’s gonna have sex with my sister it’s gon’ be me!”
hey chad, i had sex wit katie too mayne
Every chappelle skit is great honorable mention goes to the episode when everyone has a gun. ” both of you get butt naked!!!” Kachung….
World Series of Dice? Mad Real World is too funny tho good call
the only thing that make my life complete is when i turn your face into a toilet seat
“In the past few weeks, Clayton Bigsby has finally accepted that he is a black man. And just three days ago, he filed for divorce from his wife. When asked why, after nineteen years of marriage, he replied, “Because she’s a nigger lover.”
The internet as a mall was also pretty great.
you know what else i learned? white people don’t use warsh cloths. everytime i use the bar of soap somebody else’s pubic hair is in it.
GOD DAMN MONKEY BEATING ON MY HOOD!!!
oh, and is this your son? nah, i just bought this baby straight cash.
Obviously the Bleacher Report Sale figures led to Pageviews crying for more top ten lists at the Barstool Christmas Party.
guaranteed mo’s never been to a chappelle stand up show.. blacks too cheap
Prince skit should be way higher.
Now excuse me while I go home and put some water in Buck Nasty’s mamas dish.
FUCK DAT! I don’t like people playin on ma phone
No mention of the reparations skit? How dare you.
http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/vih2zg/chappelle-s-show-reparations-2003-follow-up
Tyrone biggums either fear factor or the talking to kids in school skit
Why don’t you click your heels three times…and go back to africa.
I’m gonna spend all this money before you honkies decide to take it back
Wu Tang Financial needs to be on this list. “You need to diversify your bonds, nigga” “Unfortuneately the Old Dirty Bastard couldn’t make it today, he sends his regards ‘dua dua dua’”
Interracial Trading Spaces.
“Bitch, I never forgive you for this. Go outside and warm up the car…
For the record, I’m not crazy, and if you tell anyone about this, I’ll fucking kill you.”
“Don’t worry Mr. Washington, everything you say here is completely confidential.”
“Well, in that case, I am crazy, and if you tell anyone about this, I’ll fucking kill you.”
“My butt itches, I don’t know why, I took a shower! Can I help you?” -Kinkos skit
A mouths a mouth.
shame the slo-mo skit didn’t make it. the one where he slo-mo dumps and jumps out of his shoes is possibly the funniest thing ive ever seen. bottom line there were too many great skits to even have a top 10.
no reparations, no credibility. And Mo, zach randolph said yous a cornbread nigga
missing an honorable mention of the race draft…”if I were the Asians I would pick Yao Ming, hes spending too much time with the blacks” “No rondoll your not gonna hussle me, us whites are the best husslers” “Us white people will take colin powell, ‘well we get micheal Jackson and you have to take condalece rice”
Racial draft, “quiet down there is a white man talking”
game…blouses hahah gets me everytime
When keeping it real goes bad or whatever the fuck it was
The first time I saw Dylan’s “I can’t believe it” face in the making of the band skit, I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard.
Paul Mooney’s skits should also get some recognition too.
“Joe Rogan, there’s something you don’t know about me. I smoke rock.”
Im just a nigga that loves titties.
Samuel L. Jackson beer. Not a top 10, but still funnier than shit.
THEY SHOULDA NEVER GAVE YOU NIGGAS MONEY
R. Kelly “Piss on You” is 100% #1.
Breaaast millkk you make my dayyyyy
First post ever, and I have read a lot on this site and this is the first one that makes me comment, but you have your head in your ass if Kneehigh Park is number 10. The reality is when Charlie Murphy breaks it down as the bum muppet in the trash can my life changed. I am a better parent because of it. I have talk to my wife and say, “What you don’t understand, that I make love to my hand. So I don’t need you honey. I’m gonna beat my dick like it owes me money.” Game changer.
Assholes fucking up the lines should be blocked from the comment section.
Tyree, you STABBED my dad!! But seriously, no Trading Spouses or Making the Band?
Player Hater’s Ball – Silky Johnson,” Excuse me while I go put some water in Buck Nasty’s Momma’s Dish”
“Slavery Reparations” “N-Family” “Racist Animals” “Trading Spouses”, him showing that girl what a breast reduction would do while on PCP, and the all black jury episodes are up there with the best of them.
now excuse me while i go make myself a nice feces sandwich.
your funniest quotes are fucking horse shit bro
“Reach for the sky honkey!”
CHARLIE MURPHY!!!
Oscar, why are you such a grouch? BITCH I live in a fucking trashcan!! How would you feel if you were the only motherfucker on Sesame Street without a home?
The ‘Fisticuffs’ sketch is top-10 for me
Racial Draft left off?? Really?
reasons why this list sucks :
– no Niggar Family. one of the funniest skits EVER.
– no Tyrone on Fear Factor. “We can get high… for hours!”
– no Racial Draft.
– Wayne Brady and Prince should both be higher on the list.
don’t necessarily agree with this list but damn if i dont respect it. possibly the best sketch comedy show ever, which is saying a lot. i remember the feeling of devastation that overtook me when I found out there would be no season 3, world was rocked. skit where hes playing the cancer patient in street hoops, just too many to choose from. certain skits hold a special place in our hearts depending on how stoned we were, who we were with etc. either way dave fucking killed it in every sense of the word. i wrote this song a long time ago, a really long time ago.
Honorable mention – Slow motion sketch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJsvecIzjXA
Fear Factor is easily #1. Step your game up.
darkness
Honorable Mention: Lil John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saZhldaHQM0
In white Zach’s defense, there is a CornerBlack in the NFL (Bears) named Zach Bowman.